Your question
My mother can't live alone any more. Do we move her in with us, or is that a decision we'd regret for years?
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Across the lenses

3 patterns to sit with.

What the lenses had in common. Sharpest when a pattern names a tension you hadn’t fully named yourself — weakest when it summarises something you already know.

  1. 01 Opportunity

    The needs are separable; the question wasn't

    Grow the Pie finds axes where one looks fixed. Night safety, meals, company and proximity each have standalone answers, several of them cheap. Cost them individually before touching the housing question — what's left is usually far smaller than the decision you thought you were making.

    From Grow the Pie Chinampas

  2. 02 Warning

    Safety can cost her personhood

    Ubuntu holds that a person exists through others. Move her in and her world may shrink to your household — the street, the neighbour, the shop where they know her, all gone. Ask what she'd want if safety were guaranteed regardless; the safety question only ever returns resignation.

    From Ubuntu

  3. 03 Warning

    One node carrying everything fails on a schedule

    Seedlings die outside the network. Get siblings to commit in hours and dates, not sentiment — vague help evaporates by month four onto whoever never said no. And agree a review point now, so that changing the arrangement later isn't experienced as abandonment.

    From The Mycelial Network Wangari Maathai's Green Belt

The substance

The five lenses themselves.

Often the sharpest provocation lives inside a single lens, not in the synthesis above. Skim them; one tends to land harder than the others.

Also considered

Lenses ranked relevant but kept off the exploration — the runner-up reading. Each links to the lens itself, not an applied reading of your question.

  • Method

    The Orange Negotiation

    They both want the orange. Ask why before you cut it in half.

  • Myth

    Pachamama's Reciprocity

    Every take must be matched by a give, or the system stops giving.

  • Method

    Steelman the Other Side

    Build their argument stronger than they did, then answer that.

  • Statecraft

    The Iroquois Seven Generations

    Decisions need the consent of seven generations forward.

  • Method

    De Bono's Six Thinking Hats

    Wear one mode of thinking at a time, in turn, deliberately.

  • Expedition

    Shackleton's Endurance

    The mission died; getting everyone home became the mission.

  • Myth

    Solomon's Judgment

    Offer to split the baby and watch who flinches.

  • Method

    Wu Wei — Effortless Action

    The most powerful move is sometimes the one you don't make.

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